⚠️ Award-winning confusion

We Have No Idea What We're Doing,
But We'll Charge You Like We Do

Proudly serving customers who don't know any better. Our technicians have watched at least two YouTube videos on low voltage wiring and are fully prepared to guess.

* Results may vary. "Results" is used loosely. Some wires may spark. We are not liable. See 47-page disclaimer.

Our "Services"

We offer all of these. We understand none of them.

📷

Security Cameras

We'll mount something on your wall. Whether it records, connects, or faces the right direction is really more of a bonus at this point.

Mostly decorative

🔐

Access Control

We'll install a keypad. It may or may not lock your door. It will definitely beep. Sometimes for no reason. Usually at 2am.

Beep guaranteed

🍝

Structured Cabling

We run wires. Lots of wires. Where do they go? Great question. We'll label them with our own system that we've since forgotten.

Very structured

📺

Audio / Visual

Your TV will be mounted at a slight angle. The sound bar will work on Tuesdays. We don't know why. Neither does anyone else.

Tuesdays only

Why Choose Grossman?

Honestly, we've been asking ourselves the same question.

💼 Years of "Experience"

We've been doing this since 2009. In that time, we've made every possible mistake at least twice. That counts as experience.

* Technically a liability, but we've rebranded it as "institutional knowledge."

💰 Transparent Pricing

We will give you a quote. It will double by invoice. We call this "dynamic pricing." It is not dynamic pricing.

* Additional charges may include: fuel surcharge, confusion fee, a "complexity tax" we invented.

⚡ Fast Turnaround

We'll be there between 8am and 6pm. On which day? TBD. Keep your schedule open. Cancel your plans. We'll get there.

* "Fast" is relative. Relative to what? We don't know.

🏆 Award Winning

We awarded ourselves "Best Low Voltage Company" three years running. The trophy is a participation ribbon taped to a plaque.

* No third party was involved in this award process.

Real Customer Reviews™

These are real. We promise. (They are not real.)

★★☆☆☆

"They showed up four days late, installed the camera upside down, and left a half-eaten sandwich in my attic. But honestly? Cheaper than the other guys."

— D. Thompson, Glendale

★★★☆☆

"The technician seemed very confident for someone who kept Googling things on his phone. He called it 'field research.' My doorbell now controls my garage."

— K. Ramirez, Irvine

★☆☆☆☆

"I asked for Cat6 cabling. I'm not sure what they ran through my walls but my microwave gets better reception now. I've accepted this."

— B. Levine, Scottsdale

Stop Waiting. Start Regretting.

Our phone lines are open. Our technicians are available. Our qualifications are… somewhere.
Call now and receive a FREE estimate that bears no resemblance to your final invoice.

📞 (800) GLV-SCAM

CALL TODAY!! CALL TODAY!! CALL TODAY!!